Recently, I heard a mother apologetically admit that, with her tween daughter, she watches “The Bachelor.” Is this something that needs forgiveness because it’s embarrassing? However involving, isn’t this just trash television and watching it a waste of time? Educated people often condemn popular culture, even if they indulge in it privately. I think this is due to people knowing of no justifying reason for it. But looking closer at “The Bachelor,” isn’t this show really about relationship sociology?
The sociology here is romance; it’s about finding your life partner – the end of the show is expected to be a marriage proposal! Seen as evaluating potential suitors, “The Bachelor” discusses an essential life skill. The contestants make revealing choices – which partner to pick and how to deploy their own courtship. Audiences get involved by evaluating the evaluators. Like all reality television, the show is contrived and largely scripted. So it’s not giving us real life. But isn’t any kind of judging people something bad?
In response, I would remind us that the choices here aren’t moral universals or political discrimination. The decisions are profoundly personal; they involve identifying the right person, meaning ‘right for me, personally.’ Half this process requires us to learn about ourselves. Making this romantic decision involves discovering what we ourselves want and imaginatively projecting who would be compatible with us. There is a profound question behind a marriage proposal – “Could I spend the rest of my life with this person?”
Watching “The Bachelor” may be a great way of improving life’s most significant skill – picking the right person to live with. In my view, this is a great way to spend mother-daughter bonding time. And sociologists should be proud of these two watching the show together!